to my Grammar Nazi

Sir, since you are a teacher proper
I would invite you home for supper
To teach a street rat such as I
How to speak better on the fly

But since my boyfriend does object
To such a splendid intellect
I’m afraid I must decline
To give a thought to words like thine.


I posted something on an international group the other day and a guy decided to complain that my use of the English language was improper. Funny thing is, he isn’t an English native, but a Romanian guy who probably knows grammar books by heart.

I’m sure that he’d object to my “Funny thing is”, too, just like he objected to “Do you ever have”, since “ever” must NOT be used + the present tense. ‘Cause, you know, informal English is, like, totally proper and shit, everybody knows that.

P.S. 10 points if you can explain why my use of “thine” here is inappropriate.

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